Reinstating chaos

The fruit of my mind is lost
to a glorified chipmunk
on Hanukkah before Christmas,
Thou shalt not slide,
declared the potato
and thus harrowed the soul of the squirt,
but few have the valiance
to proclaim their love for the axle,
a certain clot will agree with me

Alas! Rejoice dragqueen,
Thy beloved broccoli has returned home,
only to self-decapitate in spelling bee,
Follow me to the far east,
where horseshoe grows jello,
its blowhole had a brainstorm
and since then walks on Jews

The tempest of the intellect
is a floss in time,
I express my lustful passion-
You’re the icicle of my popsicle,
the cuticle of my tentacle
and yet you wont be mine,
now that the truth has dawned,
the foolish dreamer leaves this place


P.S. will continue if not brutally mangled by the sane.
Disclaimer: All discrepancies are meant to be.

Pulling a veggie on a vegan

“I didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian” –Anorexic Atheist (eating chicken since 1987)

My post couldn’t have starter on a graver note. But the inevitable future needs to be spoken about, for sides need to be taken and alliances forged. The issue at hand is not terrorism, racism and religious fanaticism yet is more global in its appeal and primordial to mankind. It is the war between vegans and non-vegans.

I see no future for terrorism. Terrorist in my opinion is not exactly the classic definition of wise guy. No offence to the phlegm syllabled homo saps but in spite of their extensive training and meticulous planning they seem to forget to get away after lighting the fuse with alarming consistency. When it hits the news their outfit claim it to be a successful “suicide” bombing. They obviously have a good P.R. but a lousy H.R.Their incentives seem to be in line with their job security. They get 72 virgins in heaven. So blowing is your job on earth and 72 others will handle the same in heaven. To quote Walter the puppet "Frankly I would prefer 1 pro who knows what she is doing to 72 clueless girls".

Moving on to racism, the battle is already over and the blacks won. One parameter considered was attraction to the opposite sex and the ladies preferred black men for recreational and procreational activities (also recreational procreation, seems to mean the same thing in any order of arrangement). The answer is simple white men can’t hump.

This brings us to the culinary wars. The early sign of its cause was observations by a group of wanna be engineers highly specialized in nothing in particular, that a group of people though varied in religion, caste, race, gender etc are barely conscious of these differences under normal circumstances but the mere act of having food together incites divisional tendencies, The non-veg on one side and veg on the other. As an affiliate of the better side I must indulge myself in the act of bashing my lesser adversaries by all means necessary (verbal and textual so far) to do my part in this war.

Vegetarians will be spared as they have a mere aversion to meat which came about not by a thought process and they do not have any feelings towards this issue, so to say have a “vegetative” state of existence. My ire is directed to vegans who consider vegetarianism as a philosophy, particularly to must-be banned outfit called PETA. In a desperate attempt to add purpose to their miserable existence they embrace a cause which they feel would lead to a more natural way of life. They see the world through rosy glasses and think eating meat involves some amount of cruelty which is spared in case of vegetables. Is the death of a plant in anyway less than the death of chicken? If chicken has blood, plants have sap but it’s the hemoglobin in the former that makes you cringe. At least the chicken can express its pain, a plant can’t and we don’t exactly have a shortage in supply of chicken but we do have the issue of deforestation. Every year vast expanses of forest area is converted into agricultural land and NOT poultry farms. So you can see that eating meat actually saves our environment. But sadly enough, the vegans don’t get the big picture; they campaign by putting supermodels in cages to indicate cruelty against animals (appreciate that, though it works against their purpose) and make them pose nude for anti-fur campaign (appreciate that too, though I see a pic of the same model in fur next to this pic on image search).

Some radical members have gone to the extend of boycotting dairy products claiming that cows are not allowed to graze in vast meadows in Switzerland, they are injected with oxytocin hormones for more yield and forced into animal husbandry. If this is inhuman then what is human? To work in little cubicles? Or testosterone, Viagra, botox instead of oxytocin? And I wish I was made to mate with superior quality partners.

So if any fathead wants to be the John Connor of the vegan resistance then you can bet my T1000 ass that this war will be of gastronomical proportions.

ENTER THE CRITTER

In a world ruled by the diabolic forces of intelligence, sanity and coherence.where rationality is the order of the day and man is reduced to smart computing machines in there quest for success ,there existence justified by purpose "allegedly". it seemed as if there was hope for the world ... it was time that the world need a hero to free them from there happiness ,to infest there minds with insanity ,to impregnate there brains with irrationality, to bring back the good old days when people had no clue what they where blabbering about ,to extrapolate the incoherent,to promote the random ,to accelerate entropy .to save the world from certain order,to keep repeating the same sentence with different words too many times after the point is proven.to replace all the "their"s with "there.
the supercritter has arrived and so is his cheesy writing.his identity has been kept secret to prevent from getting mobbed by the ladies ,squirrels and the person from whom i lifted the photo.